what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
