dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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