How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
