check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
