Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
