Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
