Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
