Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
