how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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