I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
