jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
