I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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