No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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