Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
God I need to hump something, right now.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
