Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
