the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
