the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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