she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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