he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
The ass gains better be worth it
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