So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
