Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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