Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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