I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
