there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
