There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
