dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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