I heard we made out
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
