yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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