no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
