I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
