Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
kristin has been a bad kristin
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
