thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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