so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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