i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
