Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
