We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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