never play flip cup with pint glasses
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
