The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
