when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
