I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
