Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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