just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
