I'm sorry my penis didn't work
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
