im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
