I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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