I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
