I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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