I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
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