When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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