remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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