New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
