Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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